How to get Free Food on your Birthday.

This is a labor of love. I'm a fat guy, what's not to love about food? Free Food especially.
A lot of places offer free food or other things on your birthday. Most only require you give up your email address. If you are clever you have an extra email account just for things like this. I have 5.

This list of 15 places to sign up was just updated in October of 2019.
This list of 101+ Restaurants with Free Food on Your Birthday was also updated the same month.
I can't vouch for how accurate this one is. It does list Free Birthday food by location. Some of the ones listed as being in Bakersfield have been closed for years. It's still a place to start.
If you can't find one near you from this list of 110+ Restaurants That Offer Free Birthday Food! you might want to move.

On stage I have been seen as "Sugar" a sweet amiable old guy with a nonspecific southern drawl. Kind and loving of everyone he comes in contact with. Taken form my own personality, but not me.
"Brine" is a 300+ year old pirate that is rude crude and indecent. Not me at all really but some bits on stage require a lot of bite.

In this video I am "Gripe": Curmudgeon and Armchair Metaphysician, also taken from parts of my personality, but he is not me, not completely, I am much sweeter. He sneers on the pretense in our society.  Like the idea that corporations try to sell; that they pretend to acknowledge any duty to the common good. 100% of their fiduciary responsibilities are to the profits of the shareholders. They have no other priorities. There are times when those priorities cross your own. Like on your birthday. This video is about enjoying what goodness there is while not blinding yourself to the bullshit.

21st Century Curmudgeon - A grumpy old man of any gender or age.
Curmudgeons take pride in being contrarians.
Curmudgeons have their own minds, values, and trends.
Curmudgeons stay true to their individuality in literature, movies, and food, and style.
Curmudgeons are caring people who serve the greater good by complaining.
What curmudgeons are not is cruel.
Grouchy? Yes.
Cruel? No.
-inspired by this.

I am still on a learning curve with making videos. The next one needs to have a music track. Sound effects are so corny, I love them too much, so; next time. In this one I am trying my hand at a longer form of Vlog, Video Blog aka personal journal accessible world wide in the form of a video. I have included way too many titles and edits and fun tools that came with Final Cut Pro X.

Short videos go viral. This form of video is not like the ones that go viral that are usually less than 3 minutes long. Not like Casey Neistat who has over 11 million subscribers. His are under 5 minutes and quite compelling. More like the longer ones the Vagabrothers do for their 1 million subscribers, but not quite so beautifully done. I like mine kind of raw and unpolished (like I like my women?).

Think podcast; like Joe Rogan and his 6.6 million subscribers, but not so Bro-centric, interview format. I'm sure I'll get around to doing an interview or two. It's just so tedious to watch 3 hours for 20 minutes that's interesting. Today's video is just over 25 minutes of just the good parts.  . . . . Okay, good parts are featured throughout with less boring footage than if I just left the camera running, let's put it that way. This one is not really for looking at on your phone*. If you have a TV set up to stream YouTube use that. Have a seat, a lovely beverage and enjoy the show.
*Although I have been led to believe people watch 2 hour movies on their cell phone. Oy!

Also on my learning curve is learning to use the iPad's built in microphone and the Blue Mic Snowball. The only mic under $300 that directly plugs into an iPad Pro (geez Apple sucks sometimes). I also have one of those tiny action cameras that wasn't used for this and have access to a camcorder that I use for a co production Vlog that is in the works. This time around it's just the iPad Pro. I got this over priced monster because they took so long to come out with the upgraded iPad Mini that is a handier size and has a better feature set for my purposes. I bought a couple of led video lights. I did a lot of stage lighting in my days working theater. These little guys will take less time to master is my hope.

Anyway. Enjoy the vlog. Get free stuff for yourself.
I play it straight but it is pretty much all a comedy routine, a humor post; so don't forget to laugh at my word usage and my dry sense of humor.

I know that just complaint about what corporations are is not a solution.
There are people working of ways to do things differently. This crazy idea that business and industry can be cooperative not adversarial. This Ted Talk talks about it.

DIY Dentures

I've done a lot of pissing a moaning about my misadventures in the world of dentistry (I have a special blog just of me whining, it ain't pretty). I've never had access to top or even 2nd tier dentists. When disability and poverty caught up with me a few years ago I was left to the subterranean levels of dentistry. Where I live po'folk can apply for what's called Denti-Cal. Basic dental care through MediCal (Medicaid). Some of the cost cutting measures are reasonable. The dentists deserve to make a profit from their work. However it's hard to find such a provider that doesn't use volume of patients and cut rate materials & procedures to maximize that profit. I actually went to a decent provider for the first couple of years. When Denti-Cal changed their procedures in 2017 rather than do needed work to my front teeth they opted to 'wait n see' just how to best work the new system. In retrospect I should have waited too but 6 months of them giving me the run around was enough.

The people in that office let me know about another provider that took Denti-Cal only 20 minutes away. As much as I question the competency and ethics of my various health care providers I tend to trust them in person. I read something once about how the clinical setting was invented to cow people into a kind of submission. It seems to work on me. Today's video starts a couple of months after I gave up on the new dental office that pulled 2 of my front teeth needlessly and tried to cap the other two with 50% success. When I open my mouth with my dental plate out all you see is one nice crown and one sad stub where the 2nd crown wouldn't stick. The last thing they did for me was manufacture a new upper dental plate to account for the missing teeth and other modifications. As I explain in the video it didn't work out either.

I am in the long process of getting Denti-Cal to reverse what they paid for the wonky dental plate and crown so I can find a different dentist to try again.
I was referred by a friend to a 2nd or so tier dentist that accepts Denti-Cal. What a character. He told me that he is a very good dentist. He was very straightforward about only doing work that profits him in accordance with his high standards. I could hear him grumbling in the other rooms about me being there. He has a problem with poor people. 3 of his assistants came in separately to ask me who I was referred by. Not sure why he takes Denti-Cal, they don't allow for fees beyond what they pay. Because it's for poor people. He also took up some of his valuable time to tell me I was fat and offer his services as a kind of mentor. As if being a objectivist (selfish) piece of shit is something that can be learned.

If I grovel maybe the first place will take me back.

Now, on to the silliness.  Even though this is titled as a DIY video, and you can use the techniques presented, it's really a video blog. Me ruminating and having fun with my creative process. 
Also me learning more about making these videos and using the editing software trial and error style. The audio is uneven. I need to talk so my sentences have an end and don't just slur into the next one. That makes it so hard to edit. Oh, Ahh, Ya know, UUUmmm; those all have to go. 

Shakshuka is my name, don't wear it out

When I stumbled onto a mention of Shakshuka my investigations made two things clear to me. While the basic recipe is nearly the same everywhere there are as many variations as there are for pizza recipes.  And that I don’t get out and travel the world enough. 

“According to some food historians, shakshuka originated in Yemen, while others claim it came from the Ottoman Empire. It is only known that to Israel, the dish came from northeast African cultures, and more specifically, from the Lybian-Tunisian region.”  more 

While most of the variants I found were for Shakshuka as an Israeli breakfast food it is served throughout the Mediterranean region at any mealtime. The word comes from Arabic, meaning, “a haphazard mixture” or “all mixed up.” This leaves lots of space to be creative. 

My process for devising my own versions of recipes is to find several different ones then mix and match based on what I know I like and what is available where I live. There are things to like about the central valley of California, the variety of spices available is not one of them. This means that somethings as basic to international cuisine as smoked paprika is not available at every supermarket. 

Sorry if you are a measuring spoon cook. Unless the recipe is all about chemistry, like baking a cake, I generally go by feel.  Here are the base ingredients: 

Tomatoes	Spices:
Peppers	Sweet Hungarian or smoked Spanish paprika
Onions	Whole or ground cumin seed
Spices	Kosher salt
Garlic	Freshly ground black pepper
Eggs	Fresh parsley leaves and/or mint leaves
	Chili powder and/or Cayenne Pepper
	Just to name a few

My search for paprika led me to Trader Joe’s.  They had some, but not smoked.  We don’t rate having Whole Foods in our area.  Turns out that besides over price wicker Cost Plus World Market has a great selection of spices at great prices. Chiquilin Smoked Paprika, a pair of tins for $5.  However I get so distracted when I'm on the hunt.  I found what is the middle eastern equivalent of Chinese 5 spice.  Another spice common everywhere but here, that they also carry.  Ras El Hanout is a powder made of Cardamom, Clove, Cinnamon, Coriander, Cumin, Paprika, Mace, Nutmeg, Peppercorn and Turmeric. “That will do nicely” I thought and brought a packet home. Leaving Chiquilin for another time.

I had roasted a couple of green Poblano and Anaheim peppers earlier.  Yes I know, fresh garlic is far superior but the diced kind in a jar is so convenient. Food is as much psychology as anything else so two cloves of fresh thinly sliced garlic and a big ass spoonful of diced from a jar have similar but different satisfaction levels if you love garlic the way I do.  

Finally an excuse to use it. I brought out the black iron paella pan that I won at an auction last year.  Applied a dollop of bacon fat and sautéed the garlic briefly before adding in the roasted peppers.  

When they were about to disintegrate I mixed in caramelized onions and colorful bell and other peppers I had sautéed earlier with salt and pepper.  This also includes a green and a red jalapeño. 

I dusted this with a good amount of Ras El Hanout and Cayenne Pepper.  Gave it a stir and let it the flavors simmer and blend for a minute. 

There are many many things you can add at this point or later as a garnish on top.  I had a small jar of artichoke hearts in oil that I snipped into smaller pieces with scissors and mixed in. 

To this I added 2-12oz cans of wedge diced tomatoes along with the water they were packed in (yes canned). I let this heat back up to the bubbly point. 

Egg time

This all went into a 375˚ oven for 8 minutes.  With 1 minute left on the timer I took a peek and saw the the egg whites were still clear next to the yokes. I added 3 minutes to the timer.  Note to self: next time start with room temperature eggs. 

Two eggs plated and sprinkled with some parsley. 

Yummy goodness. 

As a long time bachelor and maker of batches, I froze portions to have for breakfast in the next couple of weeks.  Yes the eggs will be hard boiled after reheating. Maybe even rubbery, so what’s your point?  

I had had more of the pepper mixture left so I put some in each jar with 2 fresh eggs.  One bleary eyed morning next week I will find out what the microwave will make of it.

After that I still had more of the mixture left. 

I haven’t made nachos in a while. 

Next time: Include tomato paste with the tomato chunks. Feta cheese is common as part of the main mix or as a topping.  A bay leaf.  Pitted oil-cured black olives in the mix or on top.  The flavor of the artichoke hearts got lost in with all the peppers so next time as a garnish.  The 5 kinds of peppers I used where mild. A few hotter ones would be good. Same for the spices. Ras El Hanout is wonderful. It gave me ideas of other places it could be used. Use the recommenced spices next time.  More Cayenne too and bottled hot sauce at the table. There are green versions of the recipe. Spinach and eggs are a favorite of mine so that has to happen.